Question: Is it obligatory upon the woman to be in the service of her husband in the house; such as cooking and cleaning?
Answer: There are differing opinions in regards to this affair. Some of the Fuqahaa’ (Scholars of Fiqh) say, that the woman is not obligated to service her husband in these affairs; such as cooking and cleaning. This is the opinion of some of the Fuqahaa’ and Allah knows best.
But if we return to the Hadeeth of our Prophet Muhammad (Allah’s peace and blessings upon him) he says, “Every woman is Raa’iyyah (a shepherdess/caretaker) in her husband’s home and is responsible for her flock(those and that under her responsibility)…”
Therefore, the woman takes the responsibility of what is within her husband’s home upon her neck. She takes upon her neck the responsibility of what must be maintained within her husband’s home and cooking and cleaning fall under this responsibility.
But once again, this is an affair in which our Fuqahaa’ differ. May Allah bless and reward you all.
Shaykh Taamir Fatooh (May Allah preserve him upon the good).
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “The most perfect believers are those who have the best behavior, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” [At-Tirmidhi}
The relationship between the husband and his wife should be based on mutual respect, admiration, and noble conduct.
Sheikh ibn Uthaymeen comments on this hadith:
“The person should treat his/her family with the best of conduct; since they are the closest to him/her. One should follow the Prophet’s example, as expressed by ‘Aishah, that he was in the service of his family (peace be upon him).” (Riyad as-Saliheen).
Being in the service of the family reflects a well-disciplined conduct plus the great impact on the rest of the family members; the children will imitate their father when he helps their mother, the wife will look at her husband with great affection, and the husband will sense the delicious fruits of his behavior with his family in every aspect of his life. Such spirit of cooperation will flow over the family and will establish long-lasting bounds of mutual admiration.
Saying, “I love you” to someone you really love can be very dangerous when it is your wife or husband. “I love you.” It’s just 3 words. But each word is loaded with meaning bringing out emotions that can lead to more pain than the announcer intended.
A marriage is a relationship that can sum up to success or feelings of total failure. Our report card of spousal performance is always on the line with our wife or husband. Marriage over time, for some, can simply equal to years and years of failures and promises not kept. Of sad longings and an uncertain future.
It can bring about mountains of stress the trauma of which makes the sufferer truly believe he or she would have been better off single, drowning alone in a lake of water. Overtime some believe that death is possibly better than the marriage they are in. “The more I try to make things better the worse it seems to become!”, we might say.
Overtime the thrill is gone and smiles fade. Excitement is replaced by anxiety of the moment. We may just go through the motions hoping that our “staged performance” went unnoticed by our spouse. “If I can just get through this day.”, we think.
“Here we go again, another !!!#!$#FY$ $^**!!!!”, we say to ourselves as our ears quickly turn off to the sounds of whatever he or she is saying. “What? Sorry what did you say?”, said the man. “I’m sorry did you expect something else?”, said the woman.
And so it goes. “The Dance To Marriage’s Death” quickens its pace. You may say, “But nothing is right!” This may be so. Or you may say, “It’s always the same ‘ol thing with him/her!” And this is also possible.
The major responsibility of the educator; this covers both parents:
1- Spiritual education: to teach your child the great profession of faith “la ilah illa Allah”, to teach your child the basic concepts of Halal and Haram, to order him/her to pray at the age of seven, to nurture him/her on the love of Allah, His Prophet (peace be upon him), and the love of the Qur’an. To teach him/her the major five principles of Islam and the six articles of faith. To instill humility to Allah in his/her heart, and to be mindful of Allah in both of his/her public and personal affairs.
2- Moral education: this sort of education is a fruit of the spiritual education; you are supposed to educate your child on truthfulness and the rest of good morals, to warn him against lying and the rest of wicked traits.
3- Health education: the parent or the educator should observe the health rules for the child, to drive them away from potential areas of ham and illness, to treat his/her illness. To teach them archery, horse riding, and swimming as you see fit and safe. To teach the boys trait of how to be serious and traits of manhood.
Source: The Prophetic guidance in educating children: (130-131).
Allah says, “Just as We have sent among you a messenger from yourselves reciting to you Our verses and purifying you and teaching you the Book and wisdom and teaching you that which you did not know.”
Shiekh Abdur Rahman as-Sa’di commented, “
“Purifying you” means: purify your morals and souls through nurturing them upon upright traits and cleansing them from wicked ones. For instance, purifying your heart from Shirk (worshiping others besides Allah) by means of implanting the seeds of Tawheed, purifying the hearts from showing off by means of instilling humility and humbleness, and from immorality to uprightness.
Taken from: the Tafsir of sheikh Abdur Rahman As-Sa’di
This is a subject ignored by many of us and only focused upon by a few of us. “Happiness” is very important and if you are a Muslim father and husband it is very important to raise and nurture your family upon it. Islam has all that is required for one to gain happiness wether he or she is rich or poor. Yet without beneficial knowledge many Muslims take harmful paths to find it. And many use “sadness” as a weapon assisting the Shaytaan against themselves and others and we seek refuge in Allah from this evil way.
Our children need it as it is essential for their coming years especially when life becomes hardest. May Allah bless and preserve our Sheikh Saalih al-Fawzaan.
In times such as these our children are exposed to serious evils on the Internet. It is the responsibilities of Muslim parents to watch over and control access of their children’s Internet experiences.
In this video Abu Muhammad al-Looweesi’aani reviews computer software that may help parents monitor and protect their children ensuring a safe and beneficial Internet experience with the help of Allah.