Monthly Archives: March 31, 2014 - الاثنين 01 جمادى الثانية 1435

“The ‘Dance’ To Marriage’s Death”

Saying, “I love you” to someone you really love can be very dangerous when it is your wife or husband. “I love you.” It’s just 3 words. But each word is loaded with meaning bringing out emotions that can lead to more pain than the announcer intended.

A marriage is a relationship that can sum up to success or feelings of total failure. Our report card of spousal performance is always on the line with our wife or husband. Marriage over time, for some, can simply equal to years and years of failures and promises not kept. Of sad longings and an uncertain future.

It can bring about mountains of stress the trauma of which makes the sufferer truly believe he or she would have been better off single, drowning alone in a lake of water. Overtime some believe that death is possibly better than the marriage they are in. “The more I try to make things better the worse it seems to become!”, we might say.

Overtime the thrill is gone and smiles fade. Excitement is replaced by anxiety of the moment. We may just go through the motions hoping that our “staged performance” went unnoticed by our spouse. “If I can just get through this day.”, we think.

“Here we go again, another !!!#!$#FY$ $^**!!!!”, we say to ourselves as our ears quickly turn off to the sounds of whatever he or she is saying. “What? Sorry what did you say?”, said the man. “I’m sorry did you expect something else?”, said the woman.

And so it goes. “The Dance To Marriage’s Death” quickens its pace. You may say, “But nothing is right!” This may be so. Or you may say, “It’s always the same ‘ol thing with him/her!” And this is also possible.

Am I close? Barakallaahu feekum.

STRATEGIES OF EDUCATION.

The educator should observe the following strategies in order to achieve an effective outcome and yield promising fruits:

1- Education by example: the parent, or an educator in general, should be a role model in all of his/her affairs; acts of worship, generosity, asceticism, modesty, forbearance, and courage. The educator should hold the Prophet (peace be upon him) as a role model which will effectively lead to prominent results.

2- Education of worship: the educator should teach the children all acts of worship and instill sincerity in their hearts as well as following the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

3- Education by admonition: the educator should admonish and keep a constant remainder to his/her children, just like the wise Luqman when he used to admonish his children and teach them with Qur’an and Sunnah.

4- Education through observation: the educator should observe his/her childrens behavior in every life matter in order to fix any misconduct that may arise.

5- Education by strict discipline: this strategy is used at times of necessity like disciplining children if they don’t pray at the age of ten as we are told by our Prophet (peace be upon him).

Source: The Prophetic guidance in educating children.

Translated by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE EDUCATOR (PART 2).

1- Intellectual education: the educator should teach his/her children beneficial material from a young age; the educator should also drag them away from the corruptive diseases of the society because they negatively impact the child’s mind and memory; such diseases like consuming intoxicating materials, smoking, and so on.

2- psychological education:  the educator should train them to avoid weakness, unjustified modesty, fear, envy, anger, and feeling of insufficiency. In addition, the educator should cultivate the children’s belief in destiny and fate and other crucial articles of faith.

3- Social education: the educator should teach the children to observe and deliver the rights of others, mercy, forgiveness, tolerance, unselfishness, and so on.

Source: The Prophetic guidance in educating children.

Translated by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF THE EDUCATOR (PART 1)

The major responsibility of the educator; this covers both parents:

1- Spiritual education: to teach your child the great profession of faith “la ilah illa Allah”, to teach your child the basic concepts of Halal and Haram, to order him/her to pray at the age of seven, to nurture him/her on the love of Allah, His Prophet (peace be upon him), and the love of the Qur’an. To teach him/her the major five principles of Islam and the six articles of faith. To instill humility to Allah in his/her heart, and to be mindful of Allah in both of his/her public and personal affairs.

2- Moral education: this sort of education is a fruit of the spiritual education; you are supposed to educate your child on truthfulness and the rest of good morals, to warn him against lying and the rest of wicked traits.

3- Health education: the parent or the educator should observe the health rules for the child, to drive them away from potential areas of ham and illness, to treat his/her illness. To teach them archery, horse riding, and swimming as you see fit and safe. To teach the boys trait of how to be serious and traits of manhood.

Source: The Prophetic guidance in educating children: (130-131).

Translated by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

 

DON’T LET YOUR EMOTIONS OVERRIDE YOUR MORAL VALUES.

Umar may Allah be pleased with him was once told by a man “I want to divorce my wife.” Umar asked the man why. He replied, ‘Because I no longer love her.’ ’Umar said to him, ’Are family ties built only on love? If houses and families were to be broken on the grounds of so-called lost love, how about care and kindness.”

Shiekh Raslan commented, “There should never be a preference to one’s deeply influential emotions over human values regardless how powerful and imposing those emotions are. One’s emotions must stop at its normal limits and never cross them. The man in this report expresses a fact that he can no longer keep to himself; he simply doesn’t love her anymore.” Shiekh Raslan continued, “Notice the balance in Umar’s response; care and kindness versus a lost love. Allah has favored him with marrying her, so he is obliged to provide her with kindness, care, and protection. This stands against his overwhelming desire that he no longer loves her and his heart is searching for love he cannot find.”

Note: Umar’s advice teaches us: despite our overwhelming emotions that sometimes manipulate our decision process and other times cloud our judgment, we should never allow them to override any human value we have; in this case, the man should stay with his wife although he doesn’t love her otherwise anybody who no longer loves his wife and vice-verse will be driven to ask for divorce; and therefore, most of the families will be disunited and destroyed and ultimately the society will be weak and nonresistant to the challenges of present day life.

Translation and additional notes by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

THE RULING ON SAYING ‘WA BARAKTUH’ IN THE TASHAHHOD

Imam ibn Baz was asked: what is the ruling on saying “wa barkatuh” in the tashahhud at the end of the prayer?

He responded, “It’s preferable to stop at “as-sallam ‘aliykum wa rahmatullah” because it’s authentically proven to be practiced by the Prophet (peace be upon him); whereas the authenticity of the addition of the word “wa barkatuh” is controversial among the scholars and it’s preferable to leave saying it.”

Source: Majmoo’ Fatwa ibn Baz: (11/164).

Translated by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

NOTHING CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO THE ELOQUENCE OF THE QUR’AN.

‘Al-‘Asma’i, one of the earliest Arabic lexicographers and one of the three leaders of the Basra school of Arabic grammar, once met accidentally a young girl from the Arabs. She was carrying a big water bottle and its lid was opened; she sought his help to close the lid. But she expressed her request in an expressively eloquent manner that subconsciously forced ‘al-‘Asma’i to speak out of praise for her eloquence. He said, “How eloquent you are young girl?!.”

She responded, “Qur’an has the most superior and imitable eloquence (1); it has a verse that contains two commands, two prohibitions, and two pieces of glad tidings.” He immediately asked her of a passionate need for the answer.” What is it?” She said, ”

Allah’s saying, “And We inspired the mother of Musa (Moses), (saying): “Suckle him [Musa (Moses)], but when you fear for him, then cast him into the river and fear not, nor grieve. Verily! We shall bring him back to you, and shall make him one of (Our) Messengers.” [Al-Qasas: 7).

He said, ”  I left her with a benefit. It looked like I have never heard that verse before.”

Source: Lubab al-‘Adab by ibn Munqiz: (328).

(1) How come you’re calling what I say eloquent while you have read the most eloquent speech ever which is the Qur’an. This entails that any other speech is inevitably lesser and describing it with ‘eloquent’ will be undue.

The two commands are: suckle Musa and cast him into the river lest of fear for his life.

The two prohibitions: don’t fear nor grieve.

The two pieces of good news are: bringing Musa back to his mother and cherishing her that he will be a Messenger.

Translation and additional notes by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

ASPECTS OF THE QURANIC I’JAZ (INIMITABILITY)

There are four aspects that wrap up the inimitability of the Qur’an:

1- The perfection of its authorship and the cohesion of its structure along with its ultimate eloquence and conciseness.

2- The elegance of its style; it is composed of a significantly different style than that of the leaders of eloquence among Arabs in both poetry and prose. Its style has blown up the minds of those leaders who couldn’t bring forth anything similar to it despite the well-conditioned circumstances to do so.

3- The rich reports it has about the previous nations and their respective legislations whose knowledge was only known by a very few people among the people of the Book.

4- Its rich content that foretells future events; some of them occurred during the Prophetic period and others after it.

Source: Fath al-Bary fee sharh Sahih al-Bukhari: (8/623)

Translated by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.

HOW TO SERVE YOUR OWN SOUL ON A SILVER PLATE?

The sacrifice of one’s life and wealth is the most superior expression of submission to Allah; nothing beyond such sacrifice. However, volunteer offering of one’s life and wealth requires an utter submission to Allah. One can acquire such submission through letting Islam regulate one’s life in all of its affairs. Shiekh Muhammad Sa’eed Raslan, a Salafi Egyptian scholar, reiterates a statement in many of his speeches which maintains, “One should hand over his life’s reins to the Islamic religion in order for it to have a complete control over one’s life; it directs one’s life wherever it heads in any direction.” By observing this, the sacrifice of one’s life and wealth will be a very easy and smooth task, or more properly, a beloved pleasure that one presents with a loving heart.

Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.