Umar may Allah be pleased with him was once told by a man “I want to divorce my wife.” Umar asked the man why. He replied, ‘Because I no longer love her.’ ’Umar said to him, ’Are family ties built only on love? If houses and families were to be broken on the grounds of so-called lost love, how about care and kindness.”
Shiekh Raslan commented, “There should never be a preference to one’s deeply influential emotions over human values regardless how powerful and imposing those emotions are. One’s emotions must stop at its normal limits and never cross them. The man in this report expresses a fact that he can no longer keep to himself; he simply doesn’t love her anymore.” Shiekh Raslan continued, “Notice the balance in Umar’s response; care and kindness versus a lost love. Allah has favored him with marrying her, so he is obliged to provide her with kindness, care, and protection. This stands against his overwhelming desire that he no longer loves her and his heart is searching for love he cannot find.”
Note: Umar’s advice teaches us: despite our overwhelming emotions that sometimes manipulate our decision process and other times cloud our judgment, we should never allow them to override any human value we have; in this case, the man should stay with his wife although he doesn’t love her otherwise anybody who no longer loves his wife and vice-verse will be driven to ask for divorce; and therefore, most of the families will be disunited and destroyed and ultimately the society will be weak and nonresistant to the challenges of present day life.
Translation and additional notes by: Abdullah Ibrahim Omran al-Misri.